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What He did for me

So today is Easter Sunday.

Easter has always been a bit of a weird one for me. I'm going to be posting a normal post today, so I'm going to keep this one as short as possible but I do love any excuse to be writing so I'm cool with this post but I'm afraid it's not me telling you the Easter story :)

This year I was a little bit shocked with myself. Easter has always been a bit of a weird on, I never grew up in a Christian school or had any interest in listing when I was forced to church on the odd occasion as a child (I'd spend the service playing on my DS) I was aware of the Easter story and what Jesus did for us but at the same time I had no idea. This has carried on into my teenage life and even when I came to know God the story still confused me.

I sat in a Primary school when I was at work experience and heard 8 year olds know the story better than I did. Yes I know the story, but sometimes that's all it was. It was juts another story, words on a page. I was shocked at myself when this year I was dreading Easter because of the chocolate eggs. For a while I never really thought about the true meaning of Easter. I got so caught up on with my ED and all sorts that I pushed the real reason to the side.

This isn't my normal post guys. This one hasn't got a structure and it's going to be preety bad aswell.

But I didn't get to go to church this morning what sucks. Wish I got to but oh well. So I'm typing this in my living room listening to worship music because that's all I've got at the moment. But maybe that's what I needed. Maybe I'v started to believe that God can only be found in churches and classrooms. But maybe just here, in my living room with my mum and brother who are compleatly unawear of what I'm typing or listening to, I can ave my own little Easter, my own little thankful moment of what God did for us, that amazing moment of thanks for Jesus ding for me.

Easter has a lot of distractions, losts of tempting food that sometime had very little link to what its all about, there's pressure to go to a church because its the respectful and right thing to do (what I wish I did this morning) but after feeling far from God, maybe this is what's ok to do. Maybe I don't need to be part of a big congregation to worship God, maybe I can have my own little moment with him in a room of people who are complealty clueless as to what I'm doing.



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Hiya all.

It's been a while since my last post hasn't it?

A lot has been happening in these past moths My life has taken a roller-coaster of a journey. One full of pain and excitement, love, self acceptance, hard conclusions and fear, lot of fear, it's been quite something.

During this time it might look like I've taken a break from blogging and in some ways this is true, I've taken a break from Acting Natural, but I've been blogging more than ever before.

So today I'd like to introduce you to Lost In The Story.

This is my main blog and is the reason I haven't posted in several moths, I've moved sites.

So why have I done this?

Reason one being that as a blogger I've started to expand and grow. I love Bloggers simplicity but as I started to write more I wished for more control of my blog and the only way I could do that was to move platforms. It's been a bit hard learning a much more complex system but I'm loving it.

I've also changed …

Shy girl speaks

In the movies the shy girl will speak.
She'll find a man that understands and she will be come brave.
Clenched hands she will rise to the stage,
Her audience a sea of those who doubted her.

In the movie she opens her mouth and starlight comes out.
An enigma unraveled in the pale blue of her voices.
People sit shocked, unable to move.
They listen to her voice like their new favorite tune.

In the movie she is loved.
They surround her in a summers embrace.
When the day turn grey they rush to her side.
Holding her close, her tears fall no more.

Life isn't a movie though, the shy girl won' be loved.
She will speak of course, but they're not listening.
Her voice isn't going to hold them captivate, no.
There won't be anyone to run to her side.

When the shy girl speaks it will be too late.
They've all gone home.
She knows deep down though, she wasn't welcome to begin with.
Her tears will fall, alone.


Growing up

Now that we've safely stumbled into May it is time for my college course to be coming to an end. My friends are off to start the next chapter of their lives at Uni, some are going to spend a year in full time work and others are taking a gap year to get a deeper understanding of how the world works.

As for me?

I have no idea what I'm doing next.

Sure I have plans and fall back options just encase I don't find something better to do, but realistically I don't know what I want to do.

University is out of the question as I'm not confident enough in my future to get myself into thousands of pounds of debt, I'm not really in a position to pay the several thousand for my discipleship year, nor have I got enough funds to pay for the higher education course that I wanted to do at college. I have got an unconditional offer on a place studying business at my current college for a year, this is just my fall back option though, but I am glad to have it there.

Believe in yo…