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Time to change - a month long challenge.

I'm a creature of habit.

Once I find a method of doing something that I like, I stick to it. It doesn't matter if that method is the most efficient or even healthy, once I've gotten into the habit of doing it, it can be very difficult for me to break it.

My lifestyle isn't really one to look up to. It could be far worse, don't get me wrong but it just isn't the best. This has caused a bit of an unease in me with how I live my life.

I'm not some eco warrior, I've never really had a passion for the environment. Do I care about it? Yes. But I'm not about to live in a mud hut and become one with the animals. I am serious when I say the environment really isn't my calling as far as I know.

In one of our science classes we were watching a TED talk about some amazing kid who had developed a way to provide clean water in a far more efficient way. Out of pure curiosity (and boredom) I looked into a few more of these talks. Here I stumbled on a teenage girl (who was quite close to my age) who lived a zero waste lifestyle. She had managed to get several years worth of waste into a small mason jar and I was shocked. I can clear out a bags worth of rubbish every two weeks from my room alone ( I have no idea how I end up with so much, it just seems to appear!). This didn't really get me thinking, not about the environment so much, but more my own lifestyle.

I lead a really wasteful life style. It's not as bad as some people I know, but it could be so much better. Yes I don't throw out my clothing until it is worn down and broke, unitll the fabric has holes and the stretch is gone I will keep it. When I start disslikng a pice of clothing I'll give it a while and in time I will donate it to a charity shop, same goes for my cloths that no longer fit me. Clothing wise I'm not the worst, it's one of my stronger areas but it's still something I want to work on.

My worst area is food. I throw out a lot of food. If you've read my other posts you'll know that my relationship with food is a weird and very complex one. One of my weird area is that I can't have an empty plate when I'm eating. No matter how much I like the food I will always leave some. This is mainly down to me feeling guilty because I've eaten all my food and through that I'm going to balloon and gain weight. So some of my food will always go into the bin and I do this every day. So I throw out so much waste due to my silly relationship with food.

Water bottles is another of my bad areas. I have a water bottle, but I spend half my days forgetting it and therefore buying a new plastic one from the shop. Not only is this getting expensive over the two years I've been at college but I guess that many of plastic water bottles going into the bin isn't the best either.

So that's a few of my bad lifestyle habits. I do have others that I'd like to address but there isn't too much content for me to talk about them and I don't want to bore you, but just so you know, there are others.

But it's time to change.

I'm not doing this to become an eco warrior or anything like that but I do want to better myself. I have made some bad life style choices and they effect almost every area of my life and I intend to change them.

I live at home and I have various other issues that restrice my cntroll on certian choces. Due to renting the house I can't nessaerly dig up the gardne to make my own vegtable pach, I can find ways around it but I can't do certian things. My mum does the food shopping due to mild allergies she had with certain foods, so I can't stat only buying eco friendly food because what I have food wise is out of my controll. I also can't mess around too much with my diet, I'd love to only drink water and eat organic produce but with the eating disorder that will be disatorus right not, the temption to do that will be for the wrong reason and it could cause me to relaps. So some things are out of my controll.

But what changes will I try to make?

I'm going to set myself some life style challenges for the next 30 days. I'm going to try and update you all weekly on how they are going, more to hold myself acountable than anything else.

So my challenges.

  • Bring my water bottle everywhere!!!!!!!! 
  • A go to bag for when I'm out of the house and take it with me. So this is a bag that'll contain all my basics, hair brush, carrier bag, boby pins, headphones- just the basic things that keep having to buy when I'm out of the house because I keep forgetting to bring them
  • If cloth shopping look in a charty shop first - so this one will be very hard as I can't stand touching other fabrics that I know other people have used of a regular basis. It's not that I think it'll be dirty, it's more I just find it uncomfortable. It's ot just cloths, its anything. Beding, hats, bags, pencil cases. Fabrics from other places stress me out shall we say. So that will be a challenge
  • 30 day fitness challenge.
  • Consistent sleep. 
  • Reducing food wastage  
  • Take care of myself.
This might seem like I'm trying to be eco friendly and in some parts I am, but it's not my motive. I guess if seeing as I'm finally ready to give true recovery a go, I might as well start how I intend to carry on. I want to be better and make some serious changes to my life. 

So it's time to change.

No excuses,

No half attempts.

No lies

I'm giving this month everything thing I've got.

I know hat it's not going to be easy but I need to get better and if after this month I find I'm not ready for a full solid attempt at recovery, I'll take a step back and carry on at the slow pace that I am at now. But for this month, I'm going for it, I can't keep putting strains on my relationship because of what I do, I can't keep doing this to myself. I can't keep worrying the people closest to me. 

It's time for a change.

keep on smiling guys,


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