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One week.

Hiya all!!!!!!!

I am super excited to write this blog post tonight. So I'm just going to jump right into it.

 This week I had the pleasure of doing work experience with Schools Cristian Worker Project and it has been epic! So I'm going to put a link to there website and what not so feel free to have a look if you're curious.  ( http://scwp.org.uk/ )

At the begging of the week I was really nervous, I have felt far from God for a while now and I had no idea how I was going to cope with being so aware of God throughout the week. I never expected to be coming away from the week with a newly lit passion and love for God. Seriously guys, this week has been epic.

What these guys do is going round the Oswesry area and working mainly along side the schools in the surrounding area. They do RE lessons, Assembly's, journey days, christian unions, faith groups and collective worship kinda stuff. But what they seem to do is just show God's love in schools and what not. They have my full respect for what they do.


The first day of the week was a nice gentle break into the week ahead, it was more admin work and a lovely hot chocolate in a great coffee shop, but it really calmed my nerves and gave me chance to get to know the person I was going to be shadowing. It also gave me a chance to be given the plan for the week and much to my terror we were going into a primary school that very day later on (I'm really not sure why this freaked me out so much, I knew it was going to be happening at some point). So that later we were at a primary and I was sitting in on a lesson that they were doing about Easter. It was the first time I had been in a primary school since I left my own school, it was a bit of a shock but after a while I relaxed and felt comfortable enough to interact with some of the pupils in the class and talk to them. So the first day was great, it was so cool to see kids just talk about God an be pretty interested in what the guys had to say.

Tuesday rolled on pretty smoothly and I got to sit in on a school assembly for the first time in years. It was about the refugee crisis that's been happening. I never really thought it was possible to explain it in a sensitive way to primary kids but that assembly proved me wrong.That day I also got to sit in on kinda meeting (the word meeting being used very lightly) it was just sitting down in a coffee with a lady and discussing a really exciting and cool event that's in the planning for some of the schools in the area. But it was so cool to see a push to break down the stigma that only old people go to church. Sure most the people in my church are pretty old but there is a small handful that isn't really and I know especially in my own college class there is an assumption that really old boring strict people go to church. That's not true,sure I might be boring but I'm not old or strict. So that was epic to see. We also went to my own secondary school for a faith group lunch time club thing and another primary school.

As for the rest of the week I got the chance to go to more schools, in Assembly's, faith groups, lunchtime clubs and after school clubs. It was so encouraging to see kids being interested in God. I also got to help make the promotional video today for the organisation.

This week has been a real encouragement. I am very aware that I've crashed at the end of the day and been in a bad way, but tonight I feel pretty close to God. Something I did not expect to happen was just to come away and just want to worship God. Since  first saw my dad lead worship at church I have always wanted to be part of the worship team (I didn't even believe in God at this point but I really wanted to do it) coming away from this week that's all I want to do. I can't sing,I really can't and I don't know how to play an instrument either, so right now being able to help with worship feels impossible. I also know that I feel really scared to let go at my church when it comes to worship as there is such a pressure there. But it's something I really want to do and I have no idea what to do with that. I know the easiest way to solve it is just to dive head first and go for it but and do it for God but I know that i won't be trusted to do that. But I help lead all the songs at guides, I'm trusted to do that I despite not being able to sing I can still lead the girls and really enjoy it, as do they.


So my spark for worship that I went away from New Wine with is back. To think I've had it in my heart to help out with worship for over a year now and haven't really acted on it due to a lack of confidence is quite upsetting but hopefully that will change one day. Something I've also taken way from this week is that I really want to set up a Christian union at my college again. After so many rejections from the college i was feeling a little lost but after this week I'm feeling refreshed and ready to try again.

I'm also hopeful.

Today I have been able to look at myself in the mirror and not hate what I see. It's been the first time in a long time that I've been able to say "ok, this is me." Do I like what I see? Meh, I'll get back to you on that. But to be able to accept who is in the mirror tonight is a massive step forwards. Hearing about God's love or s all week has started to wear away at that self hating part of my brain. God doesn't make mistakes, so how I look and how my body looks naturally (not my slightly staved version on me) is not a mistake, and tonight I've found some comfort in that.

So this week has been epic. I've been privileged to be with some amazing people and been able to help show God's love for us over the week. It's been an added bonus that I've come away feeling so on fire for God. One week away from college and close to God has done me the world of good. Whilst I'm devastated to be going back to college on Monday, I am excited to put what I've learned into practise.

Keep on smiling guys.
Ella.


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