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Little Green Cupcakes

I've never been one for baking, I only have to step foot in the kitchen and will get a remark of someone. I guess because I almost set a poptart on fire so I'm not really trusted anymore. Despite this though I have been trying to bake more.

In our college we've somehow developed the tradition of cake Friday. Normally I like it but cant stand it at the same time, it's fun but obviously the pressure to eat fatty foods that come in the form of cakes makes it rather nasty (I do try and enjoy it though as it puts the class in a good mood). We have a rota though, for who is going to bring in the cakes and this week it was my turn.

So after some time dancing around the kitchen theses little lovey's were made. Green inside and out they were rather cute.

A grand total of 31 cupcakes somehow ended up being made. There is 16 of us in our class at college, so I may have made a few too many. But several people had more than one.

I really enjoyed baking them, it just felt like one long colourful science experiment .

Once again it's been another day where I haven't eaten lots, that's three days were I can distinctly recall not eating properly. This week hasn't been good at all eating wise at all. I've hid it well, despite everything that's happened at college, all the drama that seems to somehow manifest, nobody manged to spot anything that suggested anything was wrong. I think that means this week was a success in some part. It's still been a grey week though.

But those little green cupcakes managed to bring a smile to the faces of some of my class mates. I've even been asked to bake a birthday cake for one of my class members. They really did make some of them smile. So I guess it was worth it.

I'm not really in a smiley mood, all I've really wanted this week is to hide under a blanket and hug someone but it really was nice today to have done something to make others smile.

So I'm going back to the challenge I set myself at the beginning of this year. I had to make one person smile every day. Sure I've still got to focus on me and get me better but I know that helping other make me feel better. So I'm going to try that more.

As per usual though I haven't got a clue where this post is going. My blog really is my little safe where I stray to when I have a little too much going off. But some part of me juts wanted to feel happy that I managed to eat two of my cupcakes. It's quite pathetic that being able to eat two cupcakes is a success that I should be proud of but there we go. I guess that's just something I wanted to share.

Keep on smiling guys.


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Hiya all.

It's been a while since my last post hasn't it?

A lot has been happening in these past moths My life has taken a roller-coaster of a journey. One full of pain and excitement, love, self acceptance, hard conclusions and fear, lot of fear, it's been quite something.

During this time it might look like I've taken a break from blogging and in some ways this is true, I've taken a break from Acting Natural, but I've been blogging more than ever before.

So today I'd like to introduce you to Lost In The Story.

This is my main blog and is the reason I haven't posted in several moths, I've moved sites.

So why have I done this?

Reason one being that as a blogger I've started to expand and grow. I love Bloggers simplicity but as I started to write more I wished for more control of my blog and the only way I could do that was to move platforms. It's been a bit hard learning a much more complex system but I'm loving it.

I've also changed …

Shy girl speaks

In the movies the shy girl will speak.
She'll find a man that understands and she will be come brave.
Clenched hands she will rise to the stage,
Her audience a sea of those who doubted her.

In the movie she opens her mouth and starlight comes out.
An enigma unraveled in the pale blue of her voices.
People sit shocked, unable to move.
They listen to her voice like their new favorite tune.

In the movie she is loved.
They surround her in a summers embrace.
When the day turn grey they rush to her side.
Holding her close, her tears fall no more.

Life isn't a movie though, the shy girl won' be loved.
She will speak of course, but they're not listening.
Her voice isn't going to hold them captivate, no.
There won't be anyone to run to her side.

When the shy girl speaks it will be too late.
They've all gone home.
She knows deep down though, she wasn't welcome to begin with.
Her tears will fall, alone.


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Now that we've safely stumbled into May it is time for my college course to be coming to an end. My friends are off to start the next chapter of their lives at Uni, some are going to spend a year in full time work and others are taking a gap year to get a deeper understanding of how the world works.

As for me?

I have no idea what I'm doing next.

Sure I have plans and fall back options just encase I don't find something better to do, but realistically I don't know what I want to do.

University is out of the question as I'm not confident enough in my future to get myself into thousands of pounds of debt, I'm not really in a position to pay the several thousand for my discipleship year, nor have I got enough funds to pay for the higher education course that I wanted to do at college. I have got an unconditional offer on a place studying business at my current college for a year, this is just my fall back option though, but I am glad to have it there.

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