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Showing posts from March, 2017

Diamond walls (poetry)

I dance my personality for everyone I meet
Friendships was never easy
My life was spent living in a glass bubble.
Beautify but fragile.
Contained but vulnerable.

But that bubble tuned into diamond walls,
Such a beautiful sight.
People stand back admiring the person I've become.
'Such a lovely girl'
'A heart of gold'

You fools!

Can't you see the girl that's trapped inside?
Those walls are my prison.
You're blinded by its beauty, by the riches you could obtain from it.
After all, diamond is a jewel

You only think of yourself.
Maybe you can see the girl that's trapped inside.
Maybe you're ignoring her.
Pretend you didn't see it, walk away!
Become distracted 'maybe she'll go away'

I won't disappear though.
Whilst you can walk away because you don't care to help, I am still here.
I'm still trapped in those diamond walls

Do you even care?

I change for you.
I build my walls higher and thicker by helping you.
But are you changing for me?
Every person I…

One week.

Hiya all!!!!!!!

I am super excited to write this blog post tonight. So I'm just going to jump right into it.

 This week I had the pleasure of doing work experience with Schools Cristian Worker Project and it has been epic! So I'm going to put a link to there website and what not so feel free to have a look if you're curious.  ( http://scwp.org.uk/ )

At the begging of the week I was really nervous, I have felt far from God for a while now and I had no idea how I was going to cope with being so aware of God throughout the week. I never expected to be coming away from the week with a newly lit passion and love for God. Seriously guys, this week has been epic.

What these guys do is going round the Oswesry area and working mainly along side the schools in the surrounding area. They do RE lessons, Assembly's, journey days, christian unions, faith groups and collective worship kinda stuff. But what they seem to do is just show God's love in schools and what not. They have…

Lonely nights

Hiya all. 
I'm just warning you all that this might turn into a bit of a rant post or quite a raw one so TRIGGER WARNING because I'm not in a good place and chances are I'm going to talk about some nasty stuff. 
I originally wanted to write a poem tonight, I thought it would be a kinder way for me to vent without going into too much detail for you guys. But I thought about it and figured that subjecting you all to my terrible non existent poetry skills would just be too mean. So ramble it is!!! 
When I first started this blog I wrote myself a set of rules. I made this blog as a safe space for me but I was very aware that my blog is on the Internet and you guys can read it. So to keep things safe for you guys I created these rules. These rules were that I would be honest with you but I would be careful. I would never make self harm look pretty, I would never be proana on my blog, I would never say how I self harmed or what methods I found to be the most successful. I said I wo…

Little Green Cupcakes

I've never been one for baking, I only have to step foot in the kitchen and will get a remark of someone. I guess because I almost set a poptart on fire so I'm not really trusted anymore. Despite this though I have been trying to bake more.

In our college we've somehow developed the tradition of cake Friday. Normally I like it but cant stand it at the same time, it's fun but obviously the pressure to eat fatty foods that come in the form of cakes makes it rather nasty (I do try and enjoy it though as it puts the class in a good mood). We have a rota though, for who is going to bring in the cakes and this week it was my turn.

So after some time dancing around the kitchen theses little lovey's were made. Green inside and out they were rather cute.

A grand total of 31 cupcakes somehow ended up being made. There is 16 of us in our class at college, so I may have made a few too many. But several people had more than one.

I really enjoyed baking them, it just felt like o…

When it wins

When I get down I tend to look on pintrest and various other social media. Most times its to look at silly quotes like the one on the left.

Tonight is one of those times and being honest that silly little image couldn't feel more true. Whist this past week has been pretty crazy, there has been a lot of positive moments and there has been lots of times where I thought I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. But then you hear a familiar metallic screech that is a train and I'm knocked on my ass all over again.


So I feel like I've been hit by a train and right now, this evening, it really feels like my eating disorder has won.

It's been a difficult day, without realising it I was close to skipping breakfast, lunch was almost a complete failure with me feeling physically sick after eating a chocolate bar at college and my friends looked at me with concern after I cleared out almost 3 days worth of food out of my bag. Then at home even eating a apple was a …

What's your label?

(Warning, long rant ahead )
People can be pretty awesome. Some people are really smart, others are creative, some can make people smile and others know how to make you cry. We're all very much individual people with our own quirks and skills.

In general we're pretty cool but we do kinda have one common flaw though.

I'd say I can pass by at least a hundred people on a good day, when I'm at work I can probably see a good couple hundred if it's a manic day, I don't mean I talk to a couple hundred people (I'm really not a sociable creature) but on the shop floor at work I can see people walking by outside, people come in the the opticians and I even talk to some on the phone. If you live in a city or a really active community you might see more than that. We only see these people for a couple of seconds at the most and chances are we'll never see them again, we don't get time to start a conversation and get to know them, we just pass by them on the s…

Forest - A writing exercise.

Hiya guys!!!!!!!

I have something I'd like to share today and for once its not a rant!!!

Common to what people may think Acting Natural is not my first blog. About 8 moths before I started this one I had another on WordPress. Sadly I couldn't really get on with the platform and my blog faded away. Unlike his blog what is a complete and utter free for all for my thoughts, my old was dedicated to my development as a writer.

One of my fears when it comes to writing is quite a common one. I was scared of my work not being perfect or good enough, if you combine this with a lack of confidence I could go a month easily without spending any time on my book simply because I was too scared to write. I knew I was terrible so what was the point of trying.

 In order to combat this I devised small writing exercises that I used to like to share on my blog. The idea was that I would find a random image on the Internet and give myself 15- 30 minuets to write a story about it. I had to be fast…