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By Her Mind.

So last week is over.

It's been a roller coaster of a week. I've had my up, my downs and even a little twirly bit that completely makes you lose your bearings.

It's been a difficult past week to say the least.

But here I am, it's a new week, I'm avoiding doing my 5 outstanding assignments and staring at my laptop wondering what on earth I'm going to ramble on about today.

I'd say after an good half an hour staring at a bank page I finally gave up and decided that no ideas would come to mind and I would just have to skip out on a post this week. So I shut down my laptop and went on a walk round college with my friend as she was getting restless in the library. Naturally at some point we ended in the toilets and I had a brain wave.

You see this past week I have been down. I went back to the doctors in the week and after getting the results from my blood test, I asked to be weighted.
What a mistake.
The good news is that they're no longer concerned about my weight, the bad news is, is that I've lost weight. Sadly, this confused me. Suddenly in my mind losing weight became good again because my doctor wasn't concerned. They were concerned when I weighted more, but now that I've lost weight they aren't, so that means losing weight is a good thing right?

But how does this link in with my toilet brain wave?

I'm not sure what other people's colleges or schools are like, but at my college there is a certain atmosphere. In general you can look around and think that everyone hates each other. There are frequent arguments in the corridors and there are obvious clicks of friends. In general people aren't that sportive of anyone they do not know.

So when you're having a bad day and you're alone in the toilets as you're convinced your about to have a panic attack, it's very easy to think you're the only one who is going through a hard time. You feel alone and you feel like no one understand.

But then you look up.

You look up and notice some writing on the stall wall.

Suddenly you don't feel so a lone. Does the pain go away, does the panic go away? No it doesn't. But for a moment it brings your attention back to the fact that you are not the only one going through a though time.

That's what I wanted to ramble about today.

It's very easy to look around and think that you're the only one who is drowning, it's easy to think to that everyone else has everything sorted and perfect. I can say with confidence that this is not true.

I've been looking around at college a little more. I've been seeing things slightly differently. Instead of feeling down and isolated I've been looking around. A particular habit of mine is that I like 'people watching'. I can assure you I'm not a stalker, I just find curiosity in how people act and conduct themselves when they think nobody is watching. So instead of just watching their body language and any interesting quirks a person might have, I've been looking at something else.

The longer I observed the more confident I became in what I was thinking.

Hears the thing. Everyone is going through a difficult time, for some people their struggles are more obvious that others. But I've leaned that we all mask it slightly differently. You can look around a room and think that everyone is doing amazingly and you're the only one in pain. That's no true, everyone is going though their own struggles. So why not become a blessing? 

I challenged myself at the beginning of the year, I gave myself the challenge to try and make one person smile everyday. I aim to make a stranger smile, sometimes I can't if I don't leave the house for what ever reason one day. Yes, this had lead to some rather uncomfortable situations when you smile at someone you don't know and they give you a weird look, or their friends around them snicker. But at the end of the day I wasn't to have know that I made at least one person smile.

I don't feel ok.

I'm incredibly confused and feel pretty lost at the moment.

I'm not really in a good place at all.

But if I can make one person's day a little better then that will make my day worth wild. If I can help one person, even if it is just for a split second, then getting out of bed in the morning was worth it.

So here is the challenge.
Be a blessing to someone today.
Make them smile.
Be some encouraging writing on the stall wall in the toilet.
Make someone else's day worth wild.
You don't have to do loads, just help someone out. Don't expect a reward or praise, just do it. 
Be kind because you never know what the person beside you is going through. 

It doesn't take a lot to be a blessing someone.
Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of writing on a wall.
So stay kind guys, because you never know what the person next to you is going through.



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