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I finally have my laptop back!!! It should now be fixed and not turning off on me every few minuets, what means I can get back to blogging again.

So I've been thinking about my blog, I've been struggling to find a topic to talk about recently and I've came up blank time after time after time. It's been an absolute pain if I'm honest.

I've had things I've wanted to talk about. I've had poems I've wanted to share, I've had rants, DIY tutorials and just general chatty posts I thought would be cool to share. But I haven't. I haven't posted any of them, I didn't even try to write them either. I didn't even attempt it. Not because I didn't want to but because I didn't feel like it would be good enough. I realised that every time I wanted to share something I felt like I had to apologize to you all.

I felt that I had to apologize for my posts not being good enough.

I forgot why I started this blog and got so caught up in other people's opinions.

Every post I though of writing I said to myself (not literally, I promise I'm not insane) but I thought I would have to write a disclaimer on my post. I thought that what I was writing was bad enough that I had to apologize for how bad my post were.

I felt that what ever I was writing wasn't good. But I've came to the realisation that maybe my posts aren't that bad. I'm not saying that my posts are amazing, but what I'm trying to say is that I started this blog as an escape, as a safe space to have rants, express my opinion. But I forgot this, I got so caught up on what people through of my posts that I stopped doing this. That was wrong.

So I'm going back to the beginning.

I'm taking my blog back and I will be posting what I want to post.

My posts won't be perfect.
I'm crap at poetry.
I don't have hall the answers.
My spelling is atrocious.
I am flawed.
And I apologize if you are wanting to read a perfect blog because i can say now that this isn't one.
This blog is run by a confused, hyperactive, hurt, damaged, oddball of a teenager who is coming to terms with becoming and adult and her own struggles but has ever intention to over come them and survive.

So this is my disclaimer, it's the only one you're going to get.
My posts won't be good, they won't be perfect but they are real.
I'm sorry if they're not good enough but as long as i am happy with them that's all that matters.

Keep on smiling guys.


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More beautiful when broken.

A year or so ago I was at an even called New Wine.

During the week  went to a seminar called 'my friends scars'. It was all about self harm and how as a christian we can support recovery with people who self harm and how we can use the bible to help ourselves if we were struggling fighting it. I don't remember too much about it to be honest, much to my annoyance that year I was too shy to make notes during the seminar, this yea I learned my lesson and took a note book with me. However, 16 year old me did make one not on a scrap of paper, I sadly lost that piece of paper until this afternoon where I found it.

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