Skip to main content

A little bit of honesty

I've been thinking and I'm going to be honest with you guys. And I think I need to take a slight step back from my blog. Don't worry I've got some posts already wrote out so I will still be posting but I think I need to take a slight step back.

I love my blog, I really enjoy writing on it and I love it when you guys comment but things have been happening in the back ground and I need to spend some serious time with God and get my priority right. At this point in time my blog is my escape but it has also become my distraction, I'm spending more time talking to you guys about my problems than I am with God.


So I am still posting but only on Fridays now, I will write things but I don't really want to go into too much detail about my own personal recovery for a little while, just until I get things sorted and I'm back on the path I should be on.

Once I'm back on track I will start posting twice a week again and I'll let you know how I'm doing. But for now my posts won't be as open as they were before. But I promise you I will be back as soon as things are sorted. I don't know how long that will take it could be days, weeks and maybe even a month, but things will be back to normal soon.

I'm not getting rid of my blog, nor am I stopping posing but I am however taking a step back on my more personal posts for the time being. So please don't be concerned if for a while I don't talk about my recovery as openly.

Ella :)


Comments

Popular Posts

Growing Pains

Growing up is a scary thing and in all honesty, I can't stand it.

I don't understand that at the age of 18 and now being considered an adult I have to act differently and all my old childish but comforting habits need to be demolished. I don't understand why I get disapproving looks when I don't do things others my age do.

Now that college is over people of my age are making the exciting transition to Uni or full time work, but mainly uni.

I'm not doing this.

I've just came out of college with an BTEC Extended diploma and a Sup diploma in forensic science. It's more than enough to get me into uni but I'm going back for a 3rd year at the hell hole more commonly know as college to study business.

When people ask why I'm not going to Uni in September my reply is usually along the lines of "I have a years left of funding and I want to make the most of it." This isn't a lie. I do have a years left of free funding so I might as well get anot…

Shy girl speaks

In the movies the shy girl will speak.
She'll find a man that understands and she will be come brave.
Clenched hands she will rise to the stage,
Her audience a sea of those who doubted her.

In the movie she opens her mouth and starlight comes out.
An enigma unraveled in the pale blue of her voices.
People sit shocked, unable to move.
They listen to her voice like their new favorite tune.

In the movie she is loved.
They surround her in a summers embrace.
When the day turn grey they rush to her side.
Holding her close, her tears fall no more.

Life isn't a movie though, the shy girl won' be loved.
She will speak of course, but they're not listening.
Her voice isn't going to hold them captivate, no.
There won't be anyone to run to her side.

When the shy girl speaks it will be too late.
They've all gone home.
She knows deep down though, she wasn't welcome to begin with.
Her tears will fall, alone.



Arabella

More beautiful when broken.

A year or so ago I was at an even called New Wine.

During the week  went to a seminar called 'my friends scars'. It was all about self harm and how as a christian we can support recovery with people who self harm and how we can use the bible to help ourselves if we were struggling fighting it. I don't remember too much about it to be honest, much to my annoyance that year I was too shy to make notes during the seminar, this yea I learned my lesson and took a note book with me. However, 16 year old me did make one not on a scrap of paper, I sadly lost that piece of paper until this afternoon where I found it.

On that piece of paper was the word 'kintsukuroi'.

 kintsukuroi (sometimes known as Kintsugi) is a beautiful thing.From what i have read, it's origins is from Japan. Broken pottery is repaired, that's all it is. But instead of being repaired with glue, it's repaired with lacure that contains gold or other desirable metals. The outcome of these repai…