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So I found this quote...

So I found this whilst exploring the wonderful depths of Pintrest 
I'm not too big a fan of putting quotes like this in my posts. I'm not sure why, I just don't like them being there. However, I know people like looking at images, pretty pictures and it breaks up long paragraphs to text, so I do throw them in on the odd occasion. But for some reason I really liked this quote, and I've decided that I'm going to listen to it *sigh* and talk about positive things for a change. I know I always try to end some of my more personal recovery posts on a positive but I am aware that Monday's one most certainly did not. So I'm going to make up for it know. 

So lets talk about happiness

I'm most happy when I'm close to God. When I really push and try to have a close and good relationship with Him I am at my most happiest. It was God who set me free from self harm and it's Him who showed me that it is possible for me to live without an eating disorder, it's God who loves me when I can't love myself. He showed me that I could do things like break my eating disorder, with His help. I know it is possible to break an eating disorder without Him, but for me I know that I will find it so hard without Him, it will be even harder than it is now. 

But I am a teenager with a really short attention span. So I don't always stay close to God as I'd like, I will spend hours reading books but only 5 minuets reading my bible. I can spend hours texting and talking to fiends but I don't think I've ever prayed longer than 20minuets. This is where my mood starts to plummet and things get bad, if I don't spend time with God things start to go down hill. But God isn't going to leave me! I might wounder and stray away slightly, but God isn't going anywhere. So that's something to be happy about.

I have people supporting me through things. To be honest, I don't have a giant support network of people. I come from a "broken" home where one side of my family (excluding my dad) doesn't want anything to do with me and the other side is very old fashioned with no idea how to cope or deal with someone who has what I'm fighting. So they don't help at all, also they're also a good hour and a half away so it's not like I can just pop down the road to see them. But I do have a support network. My mum helps me, I have two amazing friends who have never left my side once, I have the church (as small in numbers as we might be and as little as I tell them, they're still there). I do have people who can and will help me, that a lone is something to be happy about.

I find joy in painting, playing around in my art journal, my blog! I find joy going outside on a cold morning as breathing in the cold air, I find joy in the fact that I am still alive to experience these things. I find joy in the colour of the leaves on the tree, or in the way I feel safe when I wrap a blanket around me. I feel joy when I play with animals or hug my best friend after 6 months apart. 

Joy is a very present emotion in my life. But that silly quote is right, talking about the negatives and only focusing on our own individual problems is addictive. People who are hurting find comfort in people who are also hurting. But just image if we took a step back and looked around us at all the good things, even if it is as simple as feeling safe when you wrap a blanket around you. Imagine how much nicer things would be if we talked (even for one minuet a day) about things that give us joy. If we talked about the good things that has happened to us. I know it won't be easy. We all have bad days where you can't see anything good and to be quite frank, you don't want to see the good things. That's ok, but what if we tried to be a little bit more positive, even if it is for a minuet a day. Imagine what could happen.

Ella.

Comments

  1. Want to support each others blogs, i too am recovering fro anorexia http://themisfitsjournalr.blogspot.ie/

    ReplyDelete

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